Arakne Knits

Being too thin a crime????

So out of Paris came a new law saying that promoting being too thin is now a crime that carries a 2 year jail term. WTF!!!!! I get it but shouldn't lawmakers be more worried that most of the western world is suffering from obesity and not painful skinniness!!!! And honestly fashion houses have valid reasons for using thin models - the clothes hang better, they are cheaper to make as they take less material (yes this is really one of the reasons most haute couture labels don't carry anything over a size 6) and frankly they are models. They are paid to be the ideal of thin!!!!! It's called a fantasy! Don't get me wrong I am not promoting anorexia or bulimia. Those are indeed serious psychological diseases that warrant attention but I don't think I have ever heard anyone say "Oh look at her, I would kill to have her Rubenesque hips!"

When shows like the Biggest Loser are being shown in 90 something countries and terms like "obesity survivor" are being thrown around. (Yes I have a major problem with that term obesity survivor - how does someone survive from not shoveling food into their own mouths. Were guns really being pointed to their heads when they reached the drive through??? Or were they really facing impending death or severe withdrawals if they didn't have that supersized McD's meal???) How about the tv networks stop using fast food ads to lure in kids? Or even better parents not overfeeding their kids or feeding them crap??
Nothing disgusts me more than seeing an obese child or worse yet an obese pet!!!! It's not the child or pet's fault that their owner/parent cares so little for them (yes so little) that they overfeed them to placate or simply because they aren't strong enough to just say NO (lord knows how they will teach their children how to say no to drugs when they can't say no to addictive fats!).
And those idiots who sue the fast food chains because they are overweight. How is it the restaurant's fault? When did we become a society that masks its troubles with food yet blames everyone else for this (obviously a rhetorical question as it's the American way to blame everyone else for one's problems). Healthier options are everywhere yet the big companies have to jack up the prices for the healthier alternative. I, by no means, am claiming that I am the pillar of a healthy lifestyle - far from it in fact but I don't eat fast food at all (haven't done for years now - trust me this was no easy task since I loved Taco Hell) and I don't drink soda and I try to cut out as much high fructose corn syrup as I can from what I eat.
So does this law mean that the likes of Nicole Richie, Kate Moss, Agyness Deyn, Keira Knightley will all be arrested if they land in France. Mind you in LA they are all considered normal in weight. Absolutely ludicrous!!!!!

Millions could have been scarred to death over a pair of inked tatas

I will admit that I didn't notice this until I saw a picture last night but this is just inane and shows just how fucked up the US really is.  Once again this country shows that we have no other worries than the possible viewing of a pair of female breasts and this time they were drawn!

Did you know that not only was Amy Winehouse not allowed to go to the Grammys until it was too late which in itself was insane (I guess we have never heard of a rock star having a drug problem before much less let them appear on the Grammys or any other awards show) but that she was made to draw a bra on one of her  tattoos because American audiences would be offended otherwise!!!! Yet as you can see it wasn't airbrushed for the cover of Spin magazine. WTF!!!!!!

I guess we were all left with post traumatic stress disorder after the 2 seconds we spent ogling at Janet Jackson's breast during the great Super Bowl mishap but no one brings up the fact that one could argue that Justin Timberlake's ripping off of her top showed disrespect and violence towards  women was much more offensive than a nip slip. Or when Lil Kim showed up at the MTV awards with one tata hanging out and only covered her nipple.  Since when do we need to protect ourselves from art!!!! This from a country that makes the most violent misogynistic films and video games that get PG ratings, yet we wonder why we have so many school shootings. Or better yet all of the pharmaceutical ads that run nonstop for every disease that you didn't know you might be suffering (yet we have a thing called the War on Drugs but that war has nothing to do with the over-prescribing of any medication by our so called health care system).  Or our ads for our other favourite form of addiction - the fast food chains whose commercials are aimed at children thus aiding the obesity of this nation because most parents don't want to have to tell little Johnny that they can't have something and then have to deal with the subsequent tantrum that might follow so why not ply them with fatty 'food'. After all it's easy and cheap. I guess those are all fine and dandy just don't dare show a drawing of a  female breast at 10pm on television because that might just incite a riot!!!!! I'm shocked that museums in America don't have an age requirement upon entering so that the youth of the nation aren't exposed to the lascivious world of art and the body beautiful. After all Socrates was put to death for contributing to the delinquency of minors by teaching them to think for themselves.

Please can someone tell me where can I hand in my citizenship!!!!!!

Was it just me?

Or were this year's Oscars BORING??? Even if Johnny Depp was there and cheated again for his award, there was just no point to it. The only bit of excitement I got was seeing snippets from a documentary I worked on during the Robert Boyle Honorary Lifetime Achievement Montage. Not to mention most of the movies just don't look that interesting to me. I ended up only seeing Juno and Sweeney Todd as well as the Bob Dylan film that just boggled my mind but honestly the writers could have done more and John Stewart just doesn't do it for me at all. Bring back Billy Crystal! And what was that bullshit about leaving Brad Renfro out of the tribute section!!!! He was an amazing actor who I had the pleasure to meet years ago briefly. His passion for his art outweighed his heroin addiction as we watched him rehearse.

And what's with this inanity about Diablo Cody getting annoyed with the shoemaker because he had wanted some free advertisement and got upset because no one had told her that they cost a $1million??? She got upset and ended up wearing flats that were also designed by the same shoemaker  instead. This from a woman who was a stripper!!!!  Whatever happened to just going with the flow and accepting any publicity as good? She even stated on her blog that it's making her look like an attention whore (supposedly not her fault) Would she have rather asked the shoemaker to take the money he spent on the shoes and donate it to her favourite charity? I am thinking not. I guess she doesn't remember the days of I'll dance on your lap if you dance on mine.

And BTW she supposedly had these shoes custom made for her Oscar dress yet couldn't be bothered to get a new dress (in case you didn't notice that was the same or damn near close to the same dress that she donned for the BAFTAs!!) I guess you can take the girl out of the strip club but not vice versa. Don't get me wrong I liked Juno (not loved but liked) but it certainly wasn't  an Academy worthy film.  I am really tiring of the stripper,  office whore, waiter, etc who is an aspiring screenwriter in this town or the people who blog in hopes that some bored publishing giant or agent will stumble upon their writings and email them with a 5 book deal! Don't you know everyone is working on their big break in Hell A or at least some use that as their excuse for not having a real job. But a majority of these "screenwriters" are too scared to even join the WGA or send in their scripts because they might face rejection and why do that when they can sit back at home writing and rewriting and hoping that by some miracle they will be discovered.  I find it more refreshing to find a person in this town who wants nothing to do with Hollywood. So there you have it my recap of the Oscars - disappointing to say the least. And just one year I would love to see someone wear a true haute couture dress instead of those pageanty gowns all in the same colour. Come on ladies - we know you have the contacts!!!!

What a fucking moron!

I hated Sheryl Crow long before today mainly because I have heard the stories on how she slept her way to the top and I don't find her particularly talented in the least. She was dreadful when I saw her with the Stones where she massacred Honky Tonk Women but this takes the cake...... Trust me Sheryl, Amy will be okay without your support..... And yes I get it was meant to be sarcastic but still she's a moron!

I'm a lucky girl this Valentine's day!

So the boi did good this Valentine's Day. Now mind you I didn't think we would even celebrate it as it's our 16th together but Paul surprised me with Siouxsie tickets for this weekend!!!!! Mind you I did snap at him because that only leaves me less than two days to concoct an outfit, dye and crimp my hair but nonetheless I am getting to see my idol in a small venue. He's also cooking me his famous Shepherd's Pie for dinner along with his mum's Belgian chocolate fudge cake (usually made in the shape of little skulls)

Sadly though his present hasn't arrived in time :(

I'm a very lucky girl!!!!

 

So sad!

Camden market's on fire.... If  I could get there in time,  I would help quell the flames. Let's hope those nasty developers don't get in there and get their way!!!! Click here to sign the petition

Hollywood History Does in Fact Repeat Itself

I am a self-confessed media junkie. I watch all the shows, read all the blogs, skim the tabloids. We have already heard the comparisons of Heath Ledger and James Dean. Sure they were both actors and died young, had the reputation of using drugs and being bad boys as well as have become gay icons due to the film roles. But why has no one made the comparison between Britney and Frances Farmer.

If you look at their bios, they are so similar it's scary. Both had problems with the law in regards to their driving skills except Frances really got the wrong end of the stick for 1942 she had to pay a $500 fine as well as a 180-day suspended sentence (and now you wouldn't even get a 180 minute jail sentence), both kicked up a fuss with the law regarding these problems, both had unsavory love affairs, both displayed erratic behaviour in the court room (well in Brit's case, that's if she actually enters the courtroom), both have been carried away by the authorities kicking and screaming, and finally both landed in the psychiatric ward with the help of their mothers. Has no one learned from the past yet??? Hopefully Britney will get the help she desperately needs and the local news reports will no longer open in the mornings on what she got up to the night before and let's hope that Britney doesn't really end up like poor Frances who received a fair share of electro-convulsive therapy, which is quietly seeing its own comeback in medical circles. So go and Netflix, Frances starring Jessica Lange to see her story and while you are at it see if you can scrounge up some of Miss Farmer's films to see her in action.  

America is NOT the world!!!!

As I have bitched before, why does this country feel that it is the only one to exist in this world i.e. The World Series apart from Canada who else across the globe is invited to participate???

Every year when we return to Hell A from our trip, it takes me about a month to get over the fact that I hate it here. Be it the traffic, people, lack of culture, etc.... but this year's return took the biscuit! While we were away, we watched the BBC and ITV news religiously as always. There the night's number one story wasn't what is Britney up to or has Nicole or Christina had their babies - no it was the growing unrest and what is being considered genocide occuring in Kenya or Bhutto's assassination. This wasn't just on the news but it was being talked about all over London by people on the streets. But when I came home and flipped on the news to see what Hell A was covering I was hit with just plain inaneness!!!!! The news broadcast was well on its way(of course 3.5 minutes were dedicated to Britney because we all needed to know where her and the paps had spent the day) and at 10.28pm as they were covering the presidential primaries in New Hampshire and how Oprah was pushing for Obama they finally mentioned something about Kenya but of course it had nothing to do with the emerging civil war or the 300,000 people who are feared dead in the last 3 weeks. Oh no! Apparently in the middle of all of this chaos, the entire country is rallying around for Obama because he has some long lost uncle who lives there who they managed to find and interview. He went on to say what a great guy he is and how he hopes he wins (no real proof of why he should win because let's face it the man has no foreign policy experience or real political heritage to speak of  and Oprah likes him so he's actually a perfect candidate to repesent a country where over 80% of the population don't even possess a passport!!!!! Until a few months ago, an American citizen only needed a driver's license to cross the Mexican and Canadian borders and we wonder why we have a HUGE illegal immigration problem!!!!! WTF!!!! When we were leving Amsterdam Paul and I joked about the fact that he had to go to through the EU Passport Control because after all the UK is in Europe so why would he need to show a passport!!!!) and then the newscaster went on to say that even the Kenyan presidential candidates are hoping that Obama will win in November because then he can help Kenya find peace WTF!!!!! As a mere side note the newsguy threw in that there is some unrest in the country but everyone is rallying around Barack!!!!

That was it. Paul rolled his eyes immediately and knew I was going to explode about this. I am sure that the refugees in the camps are hardly sitting around transitor radios awaiting news as to whether or not Obama has cleared the next primary or better yet they might be listening in to see if Britney has completely lost it this time or not. And if they are, isn't it amazing that they can get news from America during this political nightmare that they are undergoing and actually know what they are talking about. Can we say the same thing??? If we are lucky we might just get a 30 seconds newsbite about the problem in Kenya much less Darfur, China, or Pakistan on our "world" news report each night. And what used to be considered the king of news CNN is now just a repetitive litany of crap that is either telling us that drinking beer will stop us from getting cancer or that drinking beer is causing obesity (because of course it can't be that this country is filled with overeaters who can't just face up to the fact that it is THEIR fault that they are obese and not some obscure gene that causes them to lift that cheeseburger to their lips each day - when Disneyland is having to renovate It's A Small World ride to accomodate the fact that American asses have grown and no longer can fit in the seats - I think we have a major problem!)

Welcome Home..... NOT!

Merry Rock N Roll Christmas from Merry Old London Town

Well we have been exploring London for the last 8 days with still another 14 to go (mind you 3 of those will be spent in Amsterdam...) Have been plotting my Boxing Day shopping spree for the last few days thanks to some rat bastard fucking CUNT stealing over $600 of my hard earned and saved money out of my account two days before we left. But of course since I have a touch of the old Hornby luck, I didn't know about this until we arrived at Heathrow and I went to top up my Oyster Card and my card was promptly denied!!!! As you can imagine my heart stopped, tears were shed and at many points I exclaimed "I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!!!!!" But thanks to some of the best friends a girl could have (I can't thank enough Maren, Share, and Pauline) I was able to get in touch with my bank, set up transfers to another and one anonymous party ran to the bank in Glendale and lent me the money so I wouldn't incur even more fees!!!!! To her I am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL!) Basically the aforementioned CUNTS made a copy of my ATM card and withdrew vast amounts of cash at a time. I will be looking into pressing charges......  Not to mention, the psychological damage and trauma I have suffered what with being in London 10 days and only having $100 to my name.... Of course Paul has as always taken perfect care of me.......  But onto better times

We went and visited with Paul's son Zak who was home for the day. So playing happy families was the order of the day. We had a magnificent pre-Xmas dinner cooked by Zak's mum, Denise. And I was gifted with a coat that only exists in dreams. You see Denise knows her fashion and is a big fan of BIBA. Well she had this velvet paisley with afghan collar that her other daughters didn't want because it was too colourful for their tastes so she opted to give it to me. I refrained at first and asked her three times if she was really really really sure about this and she assured me that she was so I am now the VERY proud owner of this beautiful coat (and Paul is now beyond annoyed with hearing me say "Do you know I have a BIBA!!!! much like he's sick of hearing about my MINI!) It just shows to you that some stepfamilies can get along. We like to refer to ourselves as a mixture of the Addams family that melded with Rod Stewart's extended brood....  She also gifted me with a new pair of leather whore boots thanks to them not fitting any of the females at home;)

And then today as we left this great gothic interior pub on Oxford Street and as we were walking away someone shouts out "Hornby" and lo an behold it was Mick Jones from the Clash. See Paul followed The Clash for years and became good mates with all of them so there is some reason to this sort of cool madness.... Mick talked of his plans to open a Rock N Roll Library here in London and hopefully they will spread stateside, I of course offered my services as curator (talk about a dream job!!!) Luckily, Paul kept his mouth shut about me not being a big fan of The Clash... But I must say I much prefer them to that other punk boyband......

So off I go to make up for all of those lost shopping days - if you happen to see a flash of black, pink, teal and purple hair attached to a short pale girl clad in black in London don't be afraid it's just me zapping around town trying to help out the US economy....

Off we go yet again.....

Yes, it's that time of the year when we migrate over to the UK for a few weeks. On the cards this year - London, of course, a day trip to Brighton, a possible day trip to Paris (can't wait) and 3 glorious days in Amsterdam (we of course are only going for the duck if we can find the amazing restaurant we went to a few years ago) not to mention 3 days of unaccompanied shopping at the sales while Paul is in Scotland seeing his family. Yes it really is the most wonderful time of the year.

This is when I am so glad that I am anti-breeding (and when I say I want no kids I mean it and never ever ever will waiver despite having had one doctor try to tell me "Go home and make babies" because he was a quack who believes that having a kid will cure my endometriosis *yes that really happened and it's total bullshit - there is no cure people!!!!)- no pesky rugrats to have to pack and make sure they don't throw a tantrum on the plane and ruin other people's holidays (well sort of there is always the prospect of Hornhead throwing a wobbly on the plane but that's a whole different story), never a second thought of can we go since we have nothing apart from Byron our cat to worry about. No having arguments about who gets to stay in with the little terror so the other can go out and be part of society. Not to mention where oh where would I put a kid in my cute little Mini! Oh the joys of being a non-breeder! Besides in Hell A babies are the new hot accessories just like chihuahuas, everyone just needs to be wearing one around their neck while covered in spit or puke or whatever babies slobber consists of or you just aren't cool.  I guess people really think that like all other trends they will be still be in high fashion in 18 years like a vintage Dior, I'm not thinking so... And these are the same people who support causes for our environment yet are so self-absorbed that they don't see that this planet is already at full capacity with over population but once again a hip trend dictates.  Or better yet those 'feminists' who say I want my independence yet entrap a man by falling pregnant because they think that will save their relationship or create that permanent friend who will always agree with their mommie- please tell me there is a very special place in hell for those type of women who are sooooo selfish that they would inflict the years of blaming their child (god forbid children) for their lack of a partner. Trust me I have seen this happen far too often first hand and the mere thought of it right now makes me want to spew. Nope you can keep your brats! Here is an article that I love that pretty much sums up a lot of my feelings on the subject and yes I give Hornhead a hard time about being a breeder all the time so don't think he doesn't get let off the hook.

Well back to packing and checking off those final lists, not to mention trying to finish up a slouchy beret that I have been designing and reworking for the last few months.....